How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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