He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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