I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
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