Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
We are all done wearing pants today
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
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