we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
