the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
