By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
She said she wanted you to slurp her vagina like a spaghetti noodle.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Randomize
