so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
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