Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
