Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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