He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize
