what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Randomize
