so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
