im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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