Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Randomize
