there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
