you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
