I like to think it a success when the cops are called
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Im gonna need you to always be ready for drinking or this will never work. grow up peter pan.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
