I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
