all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
this hospital has no fireball
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
Randomize
