its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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