He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
Randomize
