the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Randomize
