Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
