ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
Randomize
