I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
shes about as inviting as chlamydia
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
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