three words: i give head
three words: not that well
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
