Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
