..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
