they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
