Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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