real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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