Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
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