VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
Randomize
