you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
