um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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