it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
