So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
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