wat bout pragnant strippers??
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
