I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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