he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
