My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Randomize
