so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
