I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
