god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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