There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
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