so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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