omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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