Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
He felt like a one man threesome
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I need to keep a secret stash of instant alcoholic margaritas for when i deal with people. For example, right now, im grading, and I just don't fucking care any more. My students should make a thank you card for Jose Cuervo.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
