my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I will be naked everywhere
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
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