we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
dude you literally had like 30 screwdrivers, i thought you were gonna die
that explains why my vomit smells like it came from florida
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
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