I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We left an ass print on the piano.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
