Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
Randomize
