There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Randomize
